Nova1322

I opened my eyes and started reading my bible after grabbing it from the night stand (well, my coffee table, since I fell asleep on the couch) and for some reason, God wanted me to continue reading until I came across the passage that read,  'and Jesus said,  ''and one of you is the devil, 'referring to Judas, who would betray Him later on.'  I found it odd that the Holy Spirit would force me to end it there but He did. And sadly, I felt that I too would betray Him that day or I was betraying Him already.  I didn't feel the usual morning joy after reading, because my heart was troubled.  Why would Jesus do this to me? I thought I was obeying Him.  Deep down though, I knew, I was the betrayer and Jesus was right. I'd been disrespecting God whom I loved and worshiped for so long.  And it all started a few months ago when I found myself cussing and praying at the same time.  That night, rage filled my heart and I was overwhelmed with frustration. I repented aft